‘Make it a little bit kinky’: Sex doctor talks getting busy in a pandemic

OTTAWA – Would you ever wear a mask during sex?

It’s not a rhetorical question—it’s something many Canadians are asking themselves after a recommendation from the country’s top doctor.

The latest recommendation to wear a mask has drawn some disbelief and even some ridicule online, but sex educators say it’s time we have a serious talk about sex during a pandemic.

“Realistically, we know most people are probably not going to wear masks. So, your job as educators is to provide information, motivation, and practice the behavioural skills for safer sex,” said Dr. Jessica O’Reilly, a sexuality counsellor with a Ph.D. in sexology.

“And it’s really up to them if they implement them.”

She says in a time of a pandemic, open conversations with your partner (or partners) are more important than ever.

In addition to masks, public health recommends people avoid kissing or close face-to-face contact if your partner isn’t part of your bubble. Some say that kill intimacy, but O’Reilly says there’s more than one way to be intimate.

“Talking about your feelings, touching in different ways, finding new ways to enjoy pleasure,” she said.

“There’s not one specific direct route to a sexual goal… There are people who can’t see and still have very intimate relationships.”

O’Reilly says while wearing a mask might not be all that irregular for those with a “kinky background”, it comes down to how you choose to approach the new normal.

“COVID-19 is here, at least for now. So we have to adjust our mindset and how we see it and make it fun,” she said.

“Maybe people will get creative with masks and make it a little bit kinky.”

These, among other similar health suggestions from Canadian provinces and cities, have brought a mix of skepticism and satire from people online.

In July, B.C.’s CDC said glory holes were a good way to physically distance during sex, which quickly became a trending topic on Twitter. But O’Reilly says it doesn’t matter if people are laughing, as long as they’re talking about it too.

“Do most people have a hole in their wall? Probably not. But I think the fact we’re having these conversations is a good thing. Even if it’s met with humour,” she said.

“They’ll always tell you the most important piece of a healthy relationship or sex life is communication, but I have to say, I think a sense of humour comes as a close second.”

If humour opens up a conversation with your partner, O’Reilly says it’s a win, adding your sex life doesn’t need to be put on a hiatus just because there’s a pandemic.

All the usual rules for COVID-19 are still applicable when meeting new partners—don’t hook up if you’re showing symptoms or live with people who have underlying medical conditions.

Wash your hands before and after you have sex and if you’re still uncertain, remember that there’s always room for a part of one.